|
| My Students Rock There
is no punchline to that, my students really do rock. Last week,
we had our school festival. This is a big deal to Junior High
students as they have been working hard on preparation for the past few
months. The festival is a two day long showcase of skits, music,
singing, art, and sports. For many of the students involved
in
various club activities, such as band, this is their only chance to
show off. Also, all classrooms are turned in to exhibitions of
photos and art.
Well, I'll let the pictures describe:
 
Candle lighting ceremony, and Kobayashi -san, the student who I dubbed "second in command."
This was impressive. The students made a giant mosaic backdrop of the school with little squares of paper. Red vs. Green 
For
field day, the school divided into the Red team and Green teams.
Red had a winning strategy right off the bat: they chose me as their
faculty captain (a position that I renamed Commander in Chief).
"Traditional Japanese Games" The
sheer nerve of the Japanese! They claim everything and anything
as a Japanese idea or invention. So field day started, and right
away I was asked "Do you have sports day in the US similar to our
traditional Japanese Sports Day?" Um, yea... With
each event, I had a teacher telling me about how this particular event
is a traditional "Japanese" game. The events were as follows (and I
swear to God, I am not making this up.)
First was a game that translates to "Rope Pull"
 Stop
me if this (unique traditional Japanese) game sounds
remotely familiar... Two opposng teams hold a giant rope.
In the center of the rope is a marker. Each team TUGs on the rope
(some might call it a WAR of sorts...) The object is to get the
center marker over a predetermined point.
Now,
I did some research into this crazy game, and apparently it is played
in early every country in the world. In fact, it used to be an
event in the Summer Olympics (until 1924). Moreover, the origins
of this higly complex game do not stem from Ancient Japan, but from
Egypt. Moving along...  The
relay race. Apparently this was invented in Japan as well.
While we're on it, so was the wheel, the color red, and the concept of
a starting and a finish line.
This
race was fun though. It was also the only event my team did not
win in. We don't need to keep talking about the relay race...
Ok, so the next event was pretty unique and interesting too:
This
was a chicken-fight- game but the object was for 4 kids to form the
"chicken." Each team had roughly 10 chickens and the object was to grab
the hat of the chickens on the other team.
Of
course, a great game to be sure, but I think my strategy is what
brought home the gold on this one. I taught my students about the
phalanx. See the green team had a poor strategy where they and took on
other chickens one on one. My team stuck together in a semicircle that
the ancient Athenians would have approved of. While one green went for
one hat, we were able to surround individuals and overtake them.
Note the number of Reds to the number of greens.
Now
HERE is when I got angry. We won this match, we clearly won this match.
How do I know we won this match? Because at the end we had like 4
chickens with hats remaining, and the green team was utterly
vanquished. Somehow, there was a question as to who won.
Now,
just to drive this point home, had this been an actual war, we would
have living solders, and their army would be completely dead. This is a
victory. WE WON, so why in God's name was that under contention?!
Well,
during the final ceremony, the scores for the Green and Red teams were
CONVENIENTLY tied. TIED I say!!!! We won by a landslide, but in Japan,
we can't allow kids to lose and learn the value of "SUCKING IT UP AND
TRYING HARDER NEXT TIME!"
 Of
course, as Commander in Chief, I had to keep my team's spirits up. The
were good solders and did not deserve such unfairness. I had a huddle
with my team.
I
explained to the children the oft unfairness of life. That in reality,
they WERE champions on that day, but politics and THE MAN will always
keep them down. I then told them about THE WESTERN LANDS, where we
lionize our champions, where even legit "tie games" are resolved in tie
breakers or over time. I told them to not be discouraged in the face of
defeat, but to march in and offer a hand of congratulations to the
Green team. They fought , and although we actually won and their
pseudo-victory was put in place just to make them feel better, they
should share in our victory with pride.
It was quite a stirring speech. I would put it on par with Henry V's Once More into the Breach soliloquy, or William Wallace's Freedom speech. It may have been the dust in the air, but I think I saw a tear or two.
Naturally, always jovial, we
took the injustice on the cheek and we were still smiling. Here I sit,
surrounded my my brave warriors, our banner waving in the gentle breeze.
Next
Year there will be no tie. Next year, you will feel the ground shake
and the walls will come tumbling down as the Red team's victory is
confirmed.
The Pains of being a Teacher
This
is the part that genuinely makes me sad. The Japanese school year
starts in April and goes until March. This means by March, my third
years will move on to High School.
I am obviously proud of them
for making it to high school, but a part of me wants to mess up their
entrance exams. I don't want em to go! These kids quite literally rock.
Yes, that second picture is
of a bunch of the girls rocking out. The best part is that they are all
REALLY GOOD! Of course, I love my second years, and I am sure they will
be great third years - and if ANYTHING is going to keep me here for
another 2 years it will be to see my first years grow up and graduate.
Now...you
think this post is ending? I didn't say that this was a school "fun
day" or a school "fair." This is a FESTIVAL and there was a second
day...
DAY 2
Curry!
 My
kids made curry for the festival on a fire pit. I love how hard core
the Japanese are with letting kids do dangerous things. In America, we
would never ask a kid to build a fire pit because something (i.e. the
school or the town) will be burned down.
So
the funny thing about this. They needed firewood, and I saw one of the
kids with a rusty saw trying to saw the firewood. Of course, helpful
guy that I am, I went to my car, and grabbed the hatchet I keep in my
trunk.
Why
do I have a hatchet in my trunk? Well, during the summer while B and I
spent many a night surfing on the beach, we built campfires. Of course
driftwood comes in all shapes and sizes and sometimes needs to be
chopped a little bit.
Again,
love the Japanese. I come back with the hatchet, no one blinks an eye.
It makes perfect sense here in this land of no crime for one to carry
around a hatchet. It might as well be a screwdriver. In America, I
would have lost my job.
Some of my first year boys. How cool are their uniforms?
I'll
be honest, this freaked me out. I go to the science room, and I see a
bunch of kids putting powder into big spoons and cooking it over a
fire. Look at the table on the left! How shady does that look, and
their smiley faces... keep smiling, no hope with dope! Kids need to lay
off the smack...
No,
they were making caramel of course, and here in Japan, they did not
even know why I found the entire thing funny in the first place.
Actually, the girl in the on the left is one of my favorite students
because she is ALWAYS smiling.
 Kobayashi-san
(my second in command) pushed me around the school festival in a
wheelchair. I felt like FDR. Of course the superstitions me was not
crazy about climbing into a wheelchair, but he insisted, so I obliged.
Oh, and a nice view of our courtyard...
And don't ask about these... A few visiting elementary school kids were all excitedly making dirt balls.
There will forever be things about this country that I will quite simply NEVER understand...
That's all for now. Ja Matta!
-Rex out
| | |
| Drinking Games, Debauchery, and Dancing
Teaching the Japanese about American parties
In this most self-conscious country of moral blacks and whites - parties are a dilemma. The typical Japanese party consists of a group going out drinking - most likely to an izakia (a sit down bar where you can also order food). You sit on the floor and drink for about 3 hours. During this time several large bottles of beer, sake, so-chu, and whiskey are ordered. Sometimes, you can request 'nomihodai' - an all you can drink option where everyone pays a set price and can drink themselves into a coma for the next 3 hours. If you are partying, this is the only way to go.
Now during the party, while getting slop shit drunk, (and yes, spilling, random hookups, and even slight groping is common - these things transcend borders I guess) a few customs are maintained. For example, people will daintily pour one another's drinks (as is proper). And you pour with 2 hands, and bow slightly. Sure you may be too drunk to hit the glass and may be slurring and there is a good chance that the man pouring is your boss who you typically only see in a suit and tie, but now his shirt is off and tied around his head - but the tradition thrives here. Needless to say, you spend most of the party sitting (rather uncomfortably on the floor, I might add). Depending on the amount of coherent people remaining, the party may continue into a karaoke box where another 2 hours of nomihodai are purchased and we Americans (and of course Canadians and Brits) are the only ones left standing.
Well, last week we broke down the imaginary wall betwixt our cultures and threw a party that combined the best elements of both east and west. It all started with an Autumnal Equinox, and the man whose birthday fell on the same date... ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. Adam John Stokes:
 We kicked off the night at Shinsaibu, the best restaurant in Nakano with fried cheese, brick oven pizza, taco rice, and bolognaise sauce (all friggin great!). Note we did this in lieu of the izikaia (by the way, I'm confident I'm not spelling that or any Japanese words correctly). Americans (and in Adam's case, Canadians) know that between good food and a ton of liquor, food usually reigns supreme. Plus, we were holding strong for the party we had lined up for the following day.
I personally could not drink as 1) I was the designated driver for the night and 2) The next morning I had to be up at 8am to take the 1-kyu test for kendo. We stuffed out faces, and headed out to Cote D'Azur - the karaoke box that we frequent.
Of course, Devin and I treated our buddy to a wonderful performance. I'll give 10 bucks to anyone who can guess from the screen what song we are singing. It was heartfelt to be sure, and my throat is still hoarse!
 Of course, when you party with Ninjas, you should expect a surprise or two. Devin and I had set up a grand surprise including a remote control Subaru WRX (Adam's favorite car) and a birthday cake announcing the promotion that we granted the former Mr. Stokes:
It was ice cream cake from Baskin Robbins, and it was delicious!
The following day was a great one. First off, I had my Kendo 1-kyu test which I passed. Of course its not a wonderfully high rank, but after 3 years of playing kendo it does feel nice to FINALLY have rank! It also allows me to take the shodan test in  December. Afterwards, I was made into the happiest person in all of Japan to receive 2 cars containing visitors from far away prefectures. First came my good friend, and leader of the Clan of Pirates, Jane. I was fortunate enough to visit Jane in Yamagata about 2 weeks ago, and for the past few years, we have hung out only sporadically to say the least. She and her friend Akira, who also rocks by the way, helped me clean and party proof the house.
As if that wasn't enough, a small Sonny overstuffed with some of my favorite people in he world rolled up. That's right, my Tokyo people came over hill, dale, and the Mines or Moria just to see my ugly mug! Top row (L to R) we have Lucian, Me, and Icy Jones (yes, I swear to God that is his real name...) Bottom row, we got Ning, Kiwon, and Mike. I haven't seen my Tokyo family since, well, Tokyo so I was hella glad to see em.
On to the shenanigans...
First off, there was beer pong. The first game was Brandon/Kiwon vs. Adam/Devin
 Brandon and Kiwon put up a good fight... no a GREAT fight, but at the end of it all, the champions by knockout in the 8th round were Adam and Devin.
As such, I bestowed upon them the most glorious award of the silver 2 liter jug of Kirin.
The next match was a real showstopper. Rita and I decided to take a shot at the title.
We put up a hell of a fight. At the end, we had them down to one cup, and they had us down to two. The game had lasted well over an hour, and while Adam and Devin were considering conceding the title, they did the unthinkable. At the buzzer, they both sank perfect shots knocking us out.
Now the sad irony of all this is that before the game started Rita (not I, but Rita and Rita alone mind you) spiked their beers with vodka. We took an honest stab at cheating and somehow we were still utterly vanquished. Brits play dirty, and that's a fact! Whatever though, I stand behind my teammate, and next party we will rise to the top!
The party continued well. The drinking games eventually gave way to what truly defines a great party... dancing, and there was plenty of it. From Akira ans Jane bobbin back and forth on the kitchen floor...
To my living room becoming a dance floor... and wait, is that Kanda-Sensai bustin a move with Loosh??? OH I THINK IT IS!!!
And of course no party would be complete without some attractive lasses, ne?
OK, so that takes care of the drinking games, and the dancing, but what of the debauchery? Well, I believe that Rear Admiral Stokes can best answer that question. He made the sorry mistake of falling asleep at his own party, and suffered devastating consequences...
 So, when he woke up, there was hell to pay. He was less than thrilled with his makeover, and I think Adam was slightly miffed by the phallus on his face. His vengeance was swift, and tempers and hand soap flew. When the dust (or bubbles) settled, B was the only casualty of war with an eye full of medicated hand soap. Jeez, some people can't handle a party joke I guess.
Of course, to show fairness, when I dozed off they tried to get me as well. Fortunately for me, I am a friggin ninja and can be stirred from my sleep my the slightest of noise, or in this case, 10 drunk idiots stumbling and giggling trying to be 'covert' in their mission. Of course, I played possum, pretending to sleep while making it very difficult for them to roll me over, At the final moment, a swift scissor-kick took down both mischief-making culprits... Jane and B...
Nice try guys, sorry to damage yer pride (and maybe Jane's ribcage). Oh, and just so were square, its a damn lucky thing for you that I woke up because if you pulled it off, my wrath would have manifested in merciless retribution. I am not talking about soap in the eye, but a slow painful retaliation, far off in the future.
The following day, I had to say goodbye to everyone, and it was back to normal, with B and I plopped in front of the TV watching West Wing. The Wave report has been crappy, so no surfing for a bit (also bad waves = calm water = jellyfish) Hopefully we get a typhoon or two before the weather gets too cold.
Of course, I had a shot for each and every one of you back home who was sorely missed at the party... Oh, and Norm, at the end of the night, it was me who drank the Brit under the table. | | |
| JANKEN PO!
A Champions Tale
So Japanese kids love Janken, the J version of Rock paper scissors (exactly the same for the most part) and after learning that at lunch, it is a poor idea to wager their milk on an arm-wrestling match with me, they challenged me to Janken.
 Those boys were easily defeated... they always seem to throw scissors...
Now, my RPS record speaks for itself, and I am confident of my abilities, but this is a school lunchroom - the very venue where RPS has been played for ages. These kids, this kids were good. At first, I was foolish. I waltzed in with my .480 RPS Avg. and a win lose ratio of 9409408230927098029823 to 11 thinking that I can take these kids no problem.
It was only after I was forced to eat my lunch without milk that I realized, these kids are good.
I took the rest of the day off, and dug a giant lake so I can sit by it and ponder my RPS career.
To be taken so badly, by children. I looked at my various awards from better times in my career. I thought about my RPS rival, Mr. Nash, and all the times I played him. Nash was always a strong player, stronger than most. There was also Holohan, but Holohan, while high up in the Major Circuit was never too threatening. His moves were static and systematic. Same patterns, hardly ever threw rock, but was more of a paper player. When he would throw a scissor I could see it coming three weeks beforehand.
Nash was not like that. Nash was a wild card, unpredictable with a style that was so simple but effective. Of course, I defeated him 98% of the time but he would always be able to capitalize on mistakes I made. If I was over cautious and threw scissor, or over aggressive with rock, or even the risk taker who would throw out paper, Nash would catch me and make me regret it. Although I was always his superior in the sport, I still learned a bit from Mr. Nash.
That night, as I lay thinking, I was haunted by thoughts of my failure. Maybe my time is up. Maybe I am too old to compete with these RPS players who are in their prime RPS years. I have been noticing my strength ebb. I know I am getting older, and I should give my body a break f  rom professional RPS playing. Maybe coach or something, who knows. My wrist hasn't been the same since my bout with carpal tunnel, and while I appreciated the support of my fans, and still do, it may be time to hang up my spurs. It was about 4 AM when I woke up, sweating - the nightmares of the children's laughter and he echoes of victories passed were too much to handle. I went for a walk. Then, the most amazing thing happened. The walk became a jog. The jog, a run and before I knew it I was shadow throwing. Paper covers rock...paper covers rock. Left hand, right hand... Scissor cuts paper... stick and move, stick and move... Rock smashes Scissor. I wanted to work out, wanted to hone my skills, I didn't have the teammates to scrimmage with, or all the fancy workout equipment that the one Russian guy, Ivan Drago, had.
I went back to the basics, slept for a week with a rock, a sheet of paper, and scissors under my pillow. I cut myself on the scissors one night and decided it was a bad idea. I went back to the beginning and smashed a pair of scissors with my rock (not easy to do) I covered the rock with some paper. I wanted to cut the paper, but I had already smashed the scissors. A novice mistake. I was still not ready.
I started throwing against myself, first in the mirror, then against my evil twin. Then I practiced, but not in a gym, but on the streets - the same mean streets where I first learned to throw. Slowly, ‚h built myself back up, not as the champion, but a street RPS player. I was ready to challenge the kids again.
This time I was ready, and so were they. The stakes were raised to not only the milk at lunch, but also my Hershey bar - the one I brought from America that I have been saving for a chocolate emergency. It was too late for second guessing myself, I had to go for it.
I warmed up by beating some unranked players, namely two girls. It was a no stakes exhibition game, but good warm up nonetheless.
Then, myself and three other guys made it to the Final Four...
The first match was an easy win. My opponent was a meek kid, not used to making assertive moves. The RPS pitch is not the place to start, but he threw rock anyway which was easily dispatched of by my paper.
The next kid was slightly better. He tried to feign rock, but went into scissors. This time I threw rock. He was done for.
The title bout was next. For the grand prize and my title back. Proudly, the cocky child pointed at my milk. He could have point all he wanted, I was ready for him.
My final opponent with his coach in his corner
The first time, we both threw rock... Clever kid
The second time we both threw rock again. We were both trying the same fake out - it wasn't working,
The third time we both threw the double fake out move and went for scissors. It didn't cut it.
This little dance was getting to be too much. It needed to end and it had to end then.
Out of fairness and since the first three games were in English, the next was to be in Japanese. Shit not only did I not have home court advantage, but the rules of another league? He was right though, I couldn't argue.
Janken Po!
The world stood still as we both played our moves. I came down with scissors. Then, I saw his move. In a split second, my sure victory turned into apparent defeat as he brought his hand down keeping his fist clenched. Rock... it looked like he was going to throw rock. How could I be so foolish. Then something happened. His hand did not stop, but 5 digits extended and his hand came to a rest, flat out - paper.
I looked at my opponent, his eyes closed with defeat and the crowd roared as I victoriously opened the bottle of milk that so formerly belonged to this child. I winked to my cheering supporters, and with my milk, walked back to my desk.
The winning scissor
Maybe I have a few years left in me after all...
The spoils of battle | | |
| A Lazy Post is Better Than No Post...
Hello all!
So I finally got Internet, so I realize I must fulfill my duties to
this blog and to all of you. Needless to say, I have been here
for over a month, and have about a million stories, most of which I
have already told - so I will instead divert all work on this post to
some pictures.
Profiles in Courage
There are 4 of us here
in the crazy world that is Nakano. Besides me, there is Devin
Snow, the crazy floridian who is a dead ringer for Mr. Norman
Pentelovitch. Dev is also the reason that none of us get booty
because almost immediately, every girl is drawn to him (I hear its the
blue eyes... damn!) He used to be fat so we try to feed him a
lot in the hopes he gets fat again.
...we're not bad people, its just a bad situation. Viktor Frankl would agree....
Then there are Adam and Brandon. Adam is from Canada and actually
has a maple leaf tattooed on his arm. Oh, to be more specific he
is from the same village as the little known artist Vann
Couverr... Yes, he does say EH, after each sentence. He is
the one pushing the little car.
Brandon is in the car, Thats not a toy car mind you, thats just
his K-car. Adam is practicing pushing because that will be his
job all winter. It's B's second year here. Hes a
snowboarder from Michigan.
Wont you take me to...monkey town........
I like monkeys, so when B asked me if I would be down for
a hiking adventure to the monkey onsen, I was obviously ecstatic.
Some pics:
   
Nakano - New Brooklyn
When you found new worlds, they dont always resemble the old
world. In this case, Nakano is the furthest thing from New York
imaginable:
Buddhas are all over the place. So
are temples with great shrine-like cemeteries. I fount this small
river flowing down under this cliff. At the top was a cemetery at
the bottom this river. Really cool spot. Also, mountains
and rice fields as far as the eye can see in ANY direction.
Finally, its hard to really mind insects when you got this guy running
around. I've never seen them around my area, but he was at the
mallet golf place. Damn! Though it still is less gross to
me than an NYC roach!
My Students... Ready to Fight for Me...
 Students are poised and ready for my command
This was actually a cool experience. Last Tuesday, the entire
student body and faculty walked to the Chikuma river to clean it
up. Some were wading shoulder deep in the river, while the
younger kids were on the riverbank. Of course, I ended up in the
river which was fine.
This is my intrepid group of girls that
managed to wade through the river like good soldiers... (of course
these were taken before we were all shoulder deep... lucking RIGHT
before that point I saw a bunch of 2nd years on the cliff above.
I tossed them my phone, wallet and keys which they carried to safety)
Everybodys Goin Surfing.....Surfing...umm.... Japan
This is basically most of what we do around here. Weekends
- surf. Days off - surf. After School - surf... We go
to Niigata (the next prefecture over - about an hour drive) on
the weekends, we're up and goin by 8am.... thanks in large part to
McDonalds Breakfast!
The three of us during a sunset surf as well as a very tired B as he and I set out in the morning to surf...
And of course, what is the point of moving across the world unless you
are going to broaden your horizons and do new things, right?
I still dominate... even in Japan!
-Rex out...
| | |
| I'm in JAPAN!
I arrived safe and without too much incident! I'm at orientation right now.... more news to come... I promise!
-RJ
| | |
|
